02/23/01

  There really aren't that many fun games or applications for the Palm PDA (handheld computer or Handspring Visor.  So the mentally disturbed people over at Eruptor.com decided to do a little "adult themed" spinoff of the several year old Tamagotchi fad .  For those of you who don't remember, Tamagotchi were little egg shaped computer pets that you would have to feed, clean up after etc, or they would die.  Porta Pets are similar but they're... well...  funny.  In an adult way. No, not pornographic but fun in a PG13 kind of way.

Porta Monkey - The Beginning

  Porta Monkey is the first in the Porta series. It's also the only one that's free.  Feed him bananas, give him caffeinated beverages, put him in a dress, discipline him and generally keep him happy and content.  If you don't clean up after him, he'll throw his poop at you .  If you feed him too much, he'll get fat, if he gets amourous... well, he has a "special" stuffed animal for that. I recommend a download of Porta Monkey and play time of around a week before delving into the other Pets.  Resist the temptation to play them all at the same time.

Porta Fish & Porta Kitty

  Get Porta Fish next. Pretty much the same theory except this adds nuclear waste that can mutate your pet into a three eyed freak. There's a funny reference to the Monkey in this game that made me laugh harder than I have in a while. I'll keep it a surprise. Kitty is the next pet. Actually pretty standard.  He eats, sleeps and scratches.  Just like a real cat.

Porta Ho & Porta Pimp

  At this point I don't want to give away any more details. The fun is in discovering the many secret actions of these pets Donwload the monkey already!  The only thing I'l tell you about the Porta Ho & Pimp is that if you have one and your friend has the other, they can interact through the Palm or Handspring's built in Infrared port!  This is just something you must see to appreciate.

Porta Pamela Andrson (Lee)

  Pam Anderson is the first in hopefully a long list of celebrities that lend their name and likeness to a game.  Porta Pam is similar to the other pets but you have to feed her, shower her with gifts, make sure she gets exercise, manage her career and defend her from paparazzi.  Porta Pam is really well done.  The graphics are amazing and her scripted actions are funny and original. Wouldn't a Porta Tommy Lee be funny? The two could interact and fight and... well...  gotta keep it PG13 here. Not that anyone's looking for a XXX game (at least I'm not) but it is a clever and funny diversion for those of us who use Palm and Handspring organizers for business all day.
  Why are you still reading this article?  Get yourself to Eruptor.com and start by downloading Porta Monkey.  Then buy and register other Porta Pets to ensure that we'll get more and better pets in the future!

Click Here to go to Eruptor.com's site and start downloading porta pets.

Click Here to visit Pamela Anderson's Official Website PamTV.com